Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rarbear

Search for a member

rarbear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 867
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rarbear's page activity

Visits<b>desy00</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 3:04am

rarbear's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of rarbear's badges

rarbear's favorite FMLs

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46679) - you deserved it (3908)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48453) - you deserved it (3190)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45931) - you deserved it (3481)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (4394)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86621) - you deserved it (5474)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36983) - you deserved it (2619)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36864) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35310) - you deserved it (7605)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18690) - you deserved it (7771)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (2180)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

#20013635
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (4940)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (16387)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (3495)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21052) - you deserved it (1869)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: