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randomthing
  • Town/Country : narnia, Denmark
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1815
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About randomthing : Hey, I'm Sophie and I live in Denmark.

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randomthing's favorite FMLs

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45945) - you deserved it (2813)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (24300)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (2270)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (4163)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43539) - you deserved it (12884)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8096) - you deserved it (40308)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16402) - you deserved it (1284)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (1676)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25044) - you deserved it (1588)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (5101)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22616) - you deserved it (2386)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18103) - you deserved it (1378)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

#20066967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (6079)

On 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks (man) - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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