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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently subconscious has a fetish fir old Austrian bodybuilders. mega FML
Today, my mom revealed to me thathen I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boyshile I was feeling their "no no" area . I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read . FML
Today, I went over to mah best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him 4 a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now mah best friend thinks I 'taught' him something wierd. He won't talk to me.
Today ma mom walks into ma room wit a serious look on er face asks me "Wen a man is getting it from beind te man on top orgasms but wat appens to te man on bottom? Do u tink e takes care of imself or wat?" Hand motions were included . FML
Today, I was jogging in mah neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins.
TODAY, I FOUND OUT TAT I'M PREGNANT. MY USBAND AN I AVE BEEN TRYING TO AVE A BABBY 4 A WILE, AN I WAS VERY EXCITED TO TELL IM TE NEWS. WEN I OPENED IS OFFICE PLANNING TO SURPRISE IM WIT TE NEWS, I SAW IM MAKING OUT WIT A MAN. FML
Today, I went out fir coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, an looool decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked an flrted fir a while. Then he kissed me, an while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was mah parents. They didn't know I'm gay. real FML
Friday 27 March 2015