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Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14482) - you totally deserved it (3584)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting these random sexually explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you totally deserved it (1664)
On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you totally deserved it (1214)
On 09/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by peter (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you totally deserved it (16162)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40371) - you totally deserved it (1630)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Inga44 (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you totally deserved it (6870)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States
Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7028) - you totally deserved it (47212)
On 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by Blackberry (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you totally deserved it (14568)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38835) - you totally deserved it (6130)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We're lesbians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65991) - you totally deserved it (6547)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:32am - love - by yoyoyo (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16750) - you totally deserved it (29157)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27729) - you totally deserved it (9771)
On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51061) - you totally deserved it (6383)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51071) - you totally deserved it (5029)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17155) - you totally deserved it (45070)
On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
