Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

randomburger

Search for a member

randomburger

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2156
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About randomburger :

randomburger's page activity

Visits<b>pris</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 1:48pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:35pm<b>vb68</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:00pm<b>ireynkc</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 3:12am<b>pasha92</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 1:23am<b>KillerBabyy</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 11:26pm<b>_aliciajohnson</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 10:13pm<b>gateface970</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 9:22pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 8:52pm

randomburger's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of randomburger's badges

randomburger's favorite FMLs

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47488) - you deserved it (19372)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54714) - you deserved it (5250)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43922) - you deserved it (3882)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73084) - you deserved it (7225)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

#20724940
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (4590)

On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39941) - you deserved it (25122)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53334) - you deserved it (6524)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51555) - you deserved it (3498)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58487) - you deserved it (8397)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (71635)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58806) - you deserved it (2900)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (2428)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (50414)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80754) - you deserved it (11168)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: