About random_person243 : this app makes me laugh my ass off and i love it. other then that, Im in college , a 49er fan since birth and that's all i can think of.
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Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37074) - you deserved it (14020)
On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (50620)
On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States
Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16387) - you deserved it (6026)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (1981)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (1927)
On 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm - money - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8494) - you deserved it (28282)
On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42488) - you deserved it (2834)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (2680)
On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (42217)
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25564) - you deserved it (2390)
On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (10764)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6144) - you deserved it (44179)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (2766)
On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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