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Offline (the 06/10/2015 at 10:37pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 July 2000 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 968
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About random_cashmere : Hello. This is my profile. I am in a relationship with food and I love it. Let's see, um, I am a very avarage person, I typed this on my tablet, which is nothing, compared to the rants I sometimes write on this. I am a skinny girl. For the sake of humanity, people, do not assume people have an eating disorder by how much they eat by their size. It makes an ass out of you and me. So um yeah, uh, if you want message me. #swagsucks

random_cashmere's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:52pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:55pm<b>mikelangele</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 7:59pm<b>pixiewose</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:01pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:46pm<b>cccook1547</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:25pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:29pm<b>skyrim_fanatic</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:09pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:24am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:52pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:00pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:13pm<b>PeppermintPenny</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:03pm<b>chocolatelover96</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:55am<b>eyyyyyylmao</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:18pm<b>smithv171</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:31pm<b>left285</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:49pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:55am<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:45am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:01pm<b>cccook1547</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:31am

random_cashmere's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


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random_cashmere's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33901) - you deserved it (2376)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm - health - by alostr1 - United States

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (5332)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (35601)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47524) - you deserved it (6049)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17208) - you deserved it (26968)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (2767)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34206) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:19am - love - by T.T (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (24672)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12114) - you deserved it (37027)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:41pm - work - by prisonbitch - United States

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (36437)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (2232)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by whattheshit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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