Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About randiZ25 : I live in the US of A. Married with two awesome girls. I enjoy longs walks along the beach , and all that other mumbo jumbo bull crap. I'm 99.9% sarcastic and the rest well, you decide. Not a grammar nazi because I just don't care enough, I also don't feel the need to make myself look better by correcting others. That's me in a nutshell.. Enjoy!
I'm the one on the left since everyone has asked.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML
Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Friday 7 March 2014