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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (380191) - you deserved it (21552)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (93028)
On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (547952) - you deserved it (35294)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (121268) - you deserved it (8217)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (362782) - you deserved it (20199)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101029) - you deserved it (6479)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML
I agree, your life sucks (196151) - you deserved it (29042)
On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (306435) - you deserved it (40887)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (435771) - you deserved it (61323)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40908) - you deserved it (246723)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (459958) - you deserved it (571542)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72311) - you deserved it (24222)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (118845)
On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (30974)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (387882) - you deserved it (29662)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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