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rallison22

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

rallison22

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 340
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About rallison22 : Random person from texas.

rallison22's page activity

Visits<b>ycsfca</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:50am<b>amzee96</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:19pm<b>SpreadTHEKILLER</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:58pm<b>rotaryrose</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:59am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:34am<b>MaceGuy2000</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:43am<b>Scorcher253</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:16pm<b>Redneckmonster63</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:46pm<b>JCep</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:24am<b>neobow2</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:20am<b>Emzinatorbot</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:05pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:50pm<b>rubbish1</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Megan_xox</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 7:53pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:12pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:43am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:23pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:34am

rallison22's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of rallison22's badges

rallison22's favorite FMLs

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (13148)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (15651)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42200) - you deserved it (3152)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (4294)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31707) - you deserved it (47887)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (57546)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65163) - you deserved it (8611)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73315) - you deserved it (7243)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47420) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (45057)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38633) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (5019)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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