Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 April 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 735
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About rallison22 : Random person from texas.

rallison22's page activity

Visits<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 3:00am<b>gabrieletae</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:29pm<b>ycsfca</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:50am<b>amzee96</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:19pm<b>SpreadTHEKILLER</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:58pm<b>rotaryrose</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:59am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:34am<b>MaceGuy2000</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:43am<b>Scorcher253</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:16pm<b>Redneckmonster63</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:46pm<b>JCep</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:24am<b>neobow2</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:20am<b>Emzinatorbot</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:05pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:50pm<b>rubbish1</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Megan_xox</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 7:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:23pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:34am

rallison22's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of rallison22's badges

rallison22's favorite FMLs

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (2065)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:38pm - work - by FitnessFirst (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (1649)

On 11/19/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LilPie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother-in-law became my boss. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (1757)

On 11/10/2015 at 4:24am - work - by lauziej93 - Spain (La Rioja)

Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (1568)

On 11/03/2015 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (1900)

On 10/29/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by qourt - United States

Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (1621)

On 10/27/2015 at 11:16am - love - by Congrats? - United States (Illinois)

Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident to win every time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (4222)

On 10/27/2015 at 1:49am - money - by SwingingChili -

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (7209)

On 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was grooming one of my horses, when she stepped on my foot. I yelled and frantically tried to push her away. She turned her head toward me and shifted the rest of her weight onto my foot. I'm in the hospital now. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27370) - you deserved it (5160) - Translated from the version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/23/2015 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Walter (man) - Spain

Today, my bio teacher decided to put a plant in his classroom, and I'm allergic to it. Apparently, my hives and runny nose aren't enough to convince him to get rid of it. FML

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (3503)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: