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rallison22

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rallison22

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 402
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About rallison22 : Random person from texas.

rallison22's page activity

Visits<b>gabrieletae</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:29pm<b>ycsfca</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:50am<b>amzee96</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:19pm<b>SpreadTHEKILLER</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:58pm<b>rotaryrose</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:59am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:34am<b>MaceGuy2000</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:43am<b>Scorcher253</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:16pm<b>Redneckmonster63</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:46pm<b>JCep</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:24am<b>neobow2</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:20am<b>Emzinatorbot</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:05pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:50pm<b>rubbish1</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Megan_xox</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 7:53pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:12pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:23pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:34am

rallison22's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of rallison22's badges

rallison22's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (4476)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (11524)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (9799)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3296)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (13166)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (16801)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42232) - you deserved it (3156)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41227) - you deserved it (4294)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31720) - you deserved it (47913)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21711) - you deserved it (57582)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML



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