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rainman71696's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 6:29am / Health
by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
by Sexting Parents / 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by jdch_99 / 11/03/2012 at 1:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by SoSoRachel / 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by best_mom_ever / 10/19/2012 at 3:59am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
- Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he… Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no… Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick…