This member hasn't filled in their description.
rainman71696's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
rainman71696's favorite FMLs
by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
by Sexting Parents / 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by jdch_99 / 11/03/2012 at 1:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by SoSoRachel / 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by best_mom_ever / 10/19/2012 at 3:59am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…