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rainman71696's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML
by Not impressed. / 11/19/2013 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
by sleepysophie / 10/19/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by collegegrad / 10/15/2013 at 11:51am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML
by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Volunteer / 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML
by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love
by charlieg9 / 08/30/2013 at 8:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by the other man / 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
- Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy… Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few… Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send"…