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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (21473)
On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84834) - you deserved it (4587)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65988) - you deserved it (8432)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44729) - you deserved it (2379)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69802) - you deserved it (3085)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (7025) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (2281)
On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (4298)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8341) - you deserved it (26203)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (5713)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (1897)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (850)
On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16507) - you deserved it (939)
On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (4395)
On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62989) - you deserved it (6332)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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