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raider27's FML badges
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raider27's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML
by ihatelife / 05/14/2011 at 7:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
by ali grace / 05/14/2011 at 7:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
by jaimie / 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:11am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
by crazy_mom / 11/01/2010 at 11:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
by googoogaga / 03/13/2010 at 10:13am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by creamed / 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
by Ballhugger / 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…