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raider27's FML badges
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
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raider27's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
by psychicmother / 09/09/2011 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street when a police officer started walking behind me with his dog. I sped up and tried to cross the road. He took this as suspicious and got the dog to take me to the floor. I've been afraid of dogs since I was 5. FML
by D / 09/09/2011 at 5:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by preggo / 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
by MikeMorin18 / 07/31/2011 at 8:07pm / United States / Work
by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
by SonOfaSpy / 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
by mperh / 05/28/2011 at 8:46am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 11:44am / Romania (Arad) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 10:00am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous
by Motionless / 05/26/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/23/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very,… Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name… Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room,…