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Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML
Today.. . I started dating a seemingly normal guy . Not even four hours into our relationship.. . he began telling me that he can see sprits.. . dead people.. . and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go .
Today , a woman on the train demanded I give up mah seat fir her , claiming it was fir people with disabilities. Tred from a long day at work , an seieng she had nothing wrong with her , I asked what her disability was. Apparently , obesity is one. FML
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man,ho screamed that he was going to kill me 4 sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old manho hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. mega FML
Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorifid thugs from HR startd a fistfight with mah shift supervisor. I rushd in to break it up, but only succeedd in getting sucker-punchd into next week. FML
Today... I decidd to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all fir little kids. When I checkd back later... mah post had been editd into me tearfully coming out of the closet... and some guy had said he'd passd mah details on to Anonymous. FML
Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. looool We came to experience the country's culture, an to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, an not ten seconds later, a stranger approached an asked, "How much for your friend?" FML
Taday I went to the store for some pads with dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realizd that they were scentd. He took one out of the box, sniffd it, made me sniff it, then insistd the cashier smell it. big fat FML
Today... I Woke Up To A Really Cold Feeling Down Below. I Opend Mah Eyes And Saw Mah Girlfriend Grinning Like A Maniac And Holding Mah Crotch-sausage Between Two Scissor Blades. I Screamd In Terror Like A Little Bitch... And She Says I'm Never Gonna Live This Down. FML
Friday 27 March 2015