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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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rachexl

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rachexl
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 August 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rachexl's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (2569)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66546) - you deserved it (9417)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (33530)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (17624) - you deserved it (61524)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (75448) - you deserved it (11393)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (54592) - you deserved it (22533)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (32513) - you deserved it (50426)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (54011) - you deserved it (2627)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

#185328 (448)

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (322908)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141716) - you deserved it (53039)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342735) - you deserved it (22945)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)