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rachellemarie

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rachellemarie

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  • Number of visits : 82
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rachellemarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (3392)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12403) - you deserved it (52720)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41377) - you deserved it (4228)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59256) - you deserved it (6825)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43775) - you deserved it (9137)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47175) - you deserved it (13994)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13297) - you deserved it (31466)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (4284)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47207) - you deserved it (5998)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (3620)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30559) - you deserved it (6483)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)



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