About rachelita2107 : My names rachel. Im 23 and my birthday is on halloween. However FML decided that im not allowed to be born the 31st and insists on repeatedly changing it to the 30th. (:
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65175) - you deserved it (15910)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (16554)
On 12/14/2012 at 8:45am - intimacy - by ToughTitties (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (2601)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (1580)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (1134)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you deserved it (1938)
On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States
Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14816) - you deserved it (3410)
On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (3811)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21418) - you deserved it (12042)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2843)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (2064)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States
Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (2273)
On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (1822)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (2835)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
