Hellooo I'm Rachel. fyl.
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17848) - you totally deserved it (53432)
On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (157426) - you totally deserved it (10528)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83260) - you totally deserved it (11112)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94005) - you totally deserved it (4351)
On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53706) - you totally deserved it (1789)
On 03/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by GracelandDave (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was writing a very important email to my college professor. I went upstairs for something and came back down to send it. I later asked him today why he hadn't responded to which he said "I'm flattered...but can't." My roommate had added "love you xxx" at the end of the email. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you totally deserved it (4674)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by dntstopmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377257) - you totally deserved it (64788)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it.. only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away.. I have no depth perception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6250) - you totally deserved it (7519)
On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12999) - you totally deserved it (2656)
On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9076) - you totally deserved it (658)
On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5408) - you totally deserved it (6585)
On 01/15/2009 at 6:43am - health - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7918) - you totally deserved it (2094)
On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by Crystal - France (Ile-de-France)
Today, I enjoy reading this site and reading about other peoples suffering to feel better about my own life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7904) - you totally deserved it (2173)
On 01/08/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by sampaloompy - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15175) - you totally deserved it (3153)
On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - France (Ile-de-France)
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