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rachbabygurl55

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rachbabygurl55

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 111
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 7:55pm

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rachbabygurl55's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (3157)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38191) - you deserved it (8961)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (19839)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35838) - you deserved it (5176)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41491) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (6477)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16986) - you deserved it (28505)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45786) - you deserved it (25183)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55558) - you deserved it (9873)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (4469)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13877) - you deserved it (37157)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2839)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (6034)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

#15565101
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34577) - you deserved it (7344)

On 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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