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r70093

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r70093

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 417
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About r70093 : ??

r70093's page activity

Visits<b>sweetybaybeC</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 9:43pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:02am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:24am<b>sillytiger91</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 6:10pm<b>olpally</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:01pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 11:57pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 12:41am<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 12:50am<b>ekb777</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 6:43pm

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r70093's favorite FMLs

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (8235)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

#21286990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30032) - you deserved it (4052)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm - health - by not drunk (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34779) - you deserved it (9176)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (5761)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (3476)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41680) - you deserved it (5140)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (6379)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63914) - you deserved it (14059)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60529) - you deserved it (9142)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50338) - you deserved it (6723)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56834) - you deserved it (12738)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75135) - you deserved it (9092)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

#20608013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (9394)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States



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