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qwerty789

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qwerty789
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  • Number of visits : 609
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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qwerty789's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (586)

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (115418)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

#796639 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (79588) - you deserved it (5505)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (12018) - you deserved it (54629)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665 (558)

I agree, your life sucks (147918) - you deserved it (55398)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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