Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

quirkyred

Online | Search for a member

quirkyred

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 185
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

quirkyred's page activity

Visits<b>Llamassss</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:16pm<b>Dantheman9002</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:52am<b>KatRazzles</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:58am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:43pm<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:26pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 12:17pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 2:15pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:51pm<b>Iniezian</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 2:39am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:45am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:11pm<b>lyssgross</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:05pm

quirkyred's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of quirkyred's badges

quirkyred's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34005) - you deserved it (3643)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (4317)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (5793)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (7042) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45240) - you deserved it (2839)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (4073)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30966) - you deserved it (6437)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55016) - you deserved it (4228)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (3586)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49161) - you deserved it (46242)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19887) - you deserved it (39139)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73567) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

#16717127
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (10322)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: