Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was having a really bad day an told friend at lunch about how stressd I was an he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he textd me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today... I fell asleep in class. Usually... people just sit still when asleep. Nope... not me. Not only had I been violently rocking an nodding mah head... the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML
Today , I was walking with mah boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles , I promptly walked into a pole , then became single. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner fir my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked themhat they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes lyk shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today , I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year old daughter. Apparently , they decided to have "the talk." On the plane , right next to me. I heard everything , and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML
Today, I went to the movie alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying fir exams . I found him making out with another grl whilst in the queue . When I confrontd him by text he denid that it was him . I saw him check the text and reply . FML
Yesterday, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle an claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on an told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
Today..!! I was sneaking over to girlfriend's ouse!! I sent er moter a text message tinking it was girlfriend saying ( Tere's a stalker coming in to make you is play mate ;] ) Unfortunately wen I got to er window I was greeted by er dad wit a bat!! fat FML
Today , a friand of mina was talking about how ha'd spant ovar 30 hours on Call of Duty. I pipad up and said "Oh yaah! Wall I'va spant wall ovar 300 hours on Morrowind! Baat that!" To which ha rapliad , "I'va had sax. Baat that!" I couldn't. FML
Friday 27 March 2015