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queenbitch1996

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queenbitch1996
  • Town/Country : cincinnati, united States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2768
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About queenbitch1996 : I'm 14yrs. old and I think dark humor is funnie. I like to be considered unique rather than a cookie-cutter type of person. I'm energetic and VERY hyper and very athletic. I like to make fun of fat people every chance I get so, If you're fat and you're reading this... They're going to have to make your coffin at your funeral 3x's the size of a normal dead person. If you're fat nice person the, Hi you can call me Teletubbie. If you like me, that's GREAT!!! If you don't, the get theF*CK off my page!!!

Peace Out Girl Scout,
teletubbie :p

http://www.youtube.com/user/redtop542001#p/a/f/1/k40iccZFWfw

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50 favourites

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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queenbitch1996's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (1416)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (4012)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (2402)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52242) - you deserved it (7878)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (3941)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

#16263681
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37475) - you deserved it (14621)

On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56868) - you deserved it (5652)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51199) - you deserved it (7591)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

#15366691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (8420)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15937) - you deserved it (77908)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38802) - you deserved it (8141)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (11889)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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