Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

queenbitch1996

Search for a member

queenbitch1996

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2936
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About queenbitch1996 : I'm 14yrs. old and I think dark humor is funnie. I like to be considered unique rather than a cookie-cutter type of person. I'm energetic and VERY hyper and very athletic. I like to make fun of fat people every chance I get so, If you're fat and you're reading this... They're going to have to make your coffin at your funeral 3x's the size of a normal dead person. If you're fat nice person the, Hi you can call me Teletubbie. If you like me, that's GREAT!!! If you don't, the get theF*CK off my page!!!

Peace Out Girl Scout,
teletubbie :p

http://www.youtube.com/user/redtop542001#p/a/f/1/k40iccZFWfw

queenbitch1996's page activity

Visits<b>dcam13</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 7:31pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:06am<b>tophilis</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 6:49am<b>BeMyWonderwall</b> - the 07/28/2012 at 5:56am<b>IDontFlush</b> - the 01/28/2012 at 7:02pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 4:40pm<b>FlippinNick</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 7:58am<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 7:00pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:06pm<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 3:31am<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/22/2011 at 10:48am<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 03/09/2011 at 1:59pm<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 02/12/2011 at 7:10am<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 01/26/2011 at 5:36pm<b>pureecstasy</b> - the 01/25/2011 at 9:49pm<b>Mervin22</b> - the 01/25/2011 at 6:57pm<b>josepigo</b> - the 01/23/2011 at 3:43pm<b>lxclark</b> - the 01/23/2011 at 11:07am

queenbitch1996's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of queenbitch1996's badges

queenbitch1996's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34505) - you deserved it (11531)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

#17842672
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (4805)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by faded as shit - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (43628)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50672) - you deserved it (6077)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML

#17764515
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27612) - you deserved it (2358)

On 09/17/2011 at 1:21pm - love - by Freechbear (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML

#17764475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33029) - you deserved it (2222)

On 09/17/2011 at 1:13pm - work - by RebekahBrooke - United States

Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML

#17762590
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39657) - you deserved it (2287)

On 09/17/2011 at 3:44am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

#17761780
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (2303)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:43am - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (5538)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36074) - you deserved it (23264)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36905) - you deserved it (3918)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41129) - you deserved it (6169)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (3215)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: