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About queenbitch1996 : I'm 14yrs. old and I think dark humor is funnie. I like to be considered unique rather than a cookie-cutter type of person. I'm energetic and VERY hyper and very athletic. I like to make fun of fat people every chance I get so, If you're fat and you're reading this... They're going to have to make your coffin at your funeral 3x's the size of a normal dead person. If you're fat nice person the, Hi you can call me Teletubbie. If you like me, that's GREAT!!! If you don't, the get theF*CK off my page!!!
Peace Out Girl Scout,
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
Friday 28 November 2014