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qr_fml

Offline (the 10/05/2014 at 8:03pm) | Search for a member

qr_fml

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1118
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

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qr_fml's favorite FMLs

Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML

#13764909
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (7833)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by wow (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34641) - you deserved it (4070)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13883) - you deserved it (43681)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (3528)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (8305)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (5389)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was waiting to speak to a customer service salesman in a store. To pass time, I was playing with a rubber band. The rubber band shot off and hit the salesman smack in the face. FML

#12944267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8629) - you deserved it (23599)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:53am - health - by slingshot - United States

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12578) - you deserved it (49862)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (2562)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (11074)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

#7222558
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8481) - you deserved it (23415)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by awskme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (32484)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31981) - you deserved it (4957)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64547) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)



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