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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43202) - you deserved it (2165)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by bloodynose (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (54637)
On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58139) - you deserved it (2103)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (61468)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44616) - you deserved it (4426)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to a restaurant and only brought $14 with me to eat. I ordered and ate my meal, then went to the counter to pay for it. I threw $2 into the tip jar then got my bill. My bill was $13.86. I had to reach into the tip jar and take my $2 back so I could pay for my meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9678) - you deserved it (45072)
On 06/19/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by pinkplasticjesus (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38962) - you deserved it (3099)
On 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70439) - you deserved it (2710)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5008) - you deserved it (53796)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by LetsMakeLove (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42128) - you deserved it (3103)
On 06/08/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Marie (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34051) - you deserved it (3623)
On 06/05/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Timmay (man) - United States
Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (3964)
On 06/04/2009 at 10:04pm - health - by scarlett666 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14020) - you deserved it (53956)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)
Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8996) - you deserved it (39198)
On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46229) - you deserved it (1527)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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