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qm4life

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qm4life
  • Town/Country : Roseville, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 929
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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qm4life's favorite FMLs

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

#5122980
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by h0308 (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73227) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (55364)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63504) - you deserved it (9578)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

#4227186
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36400) - you deserved it (8766)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by soembarrassed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52463) - you deserved it (7224)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

#4193534
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38996) - you deserved it (2909)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50590) - you deserved it (2935)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

#4066807
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48947) - you deserved it (11140)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (9762)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

#3851520
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (3312)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:15am - love - by Phoebe (woman) - Singapore

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9872) - you deserved it (52501)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54247) - you deserved it (4057)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

#3211870
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (67937)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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