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qm4life

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qm4life

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1158
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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qm4life's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (5881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48603) - you deserved it (7728)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (2636)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (1893)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51728) - you deserved it (4054)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

#18047798
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29179) - you deserved it (16290)

On 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11255) - you deserved it (38049)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (8935)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34762) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (2877)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML

#18022095
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (6099)

On 10/19/2011 at 8:19am - love - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (37091)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

#17988590
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (2710)

On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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