qm4life

Search for a member

qm4life

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2510
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

qm4life's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 11:20am

qm4life's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

qm4life's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

by liquid_sasquatch / 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

by Kristat / 04/01/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Work

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, everyone in my house has a horrible stomach flu. My two toddler nephews don't understand that they need to throw up in the bathroom, so they just blow chunks everywhere. I have to clean it up, while trying not to do the same. FML

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 02/14/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Love

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

by loveinanelevator / 02/13/2012 at 7:03am / Health

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML

by barface / 01/10/2012 at 9:52pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2012 at 9:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Washington) / Kids