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pyros

Offline (the 09/06/2014 at 9:24am) | Search for a member

pyros

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2098
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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pyros's page activity

Visits<b>Live4funny</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:31pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:42am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:58am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 2:03am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:01am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:03pm<b>colinlb</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:33pm<b>thatoneguy1369</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:04pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>15499kiwis</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:14am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 12:05am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 1:56pm<b>crazy_maniac69</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:33pm

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pyros's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

#20124733
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (11222)

On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35802) - you deserved it (10439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (38520)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8002) - you deserved it (46490)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26580) - you deserved it (4371)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (39293)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19938) - you deserved it (4409)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (4060)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24641) - you deserved it (3311)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (7445)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (4346)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

#18804731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (12204)

On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)



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