pyros

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Offline (the 09/06/2014 at 9:24am)

pyros

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5220
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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pyros's page activity

Visits<b>Live4funny</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:31pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:42am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:58am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 2:03am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:01am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:03pm<b>colinlb</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:33pm<b>thatoneguy1369</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:04pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>15499kiwis</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:14am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 12:05am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 1:56pm<b>crazy_maniac69</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:33pm

pyros's FML badges

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pyros's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

by shut up. / 11/11/2013 at 5:36am / New Zealand / Work

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

by :/ / 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

by roughsexgonewrong / 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

by anna / 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML

by BadLuck / 10/27/2013 at 10:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

by NOKHAN / 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love