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pyros

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pyros
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, U.S.A.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1128
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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pyros's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7866) - you deserved it (100293)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

#5793265
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14649) - you deserved it (17389)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (24211)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7476) - you deserved it (39945)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (29031)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

#5692433
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35682) - you deserved it (3412)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

#5664241
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (5423)

On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45843) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (3711)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

#5504838
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7433) - you deserved it (41889)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (75866)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

#5294180
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5115) - you deserved it (38735)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Jennnn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

#5209609
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (2302)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Ljsmitty - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. Everything was going fine until my mom asked aloud "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied "No." I was painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

#5184677
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (3492)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:26am - love - by moresexperience (man) - United States (California)



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