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Today.. . I was driving home at night.. . and got into an accident . Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road . I hit it . The toilet's fine.. . but mah car now has a toilet-shapd dent in the front . FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriand in his badroom. It was gatting pratty intansa, so ha got up to closa tha door. Whila ha was facing tha othar way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right whan I lat go of it, his mom walkd in and it hit har in tha faca. FML
Today, I noticed a wierd smell coming from mah four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet 4hen she "can't make it in time." mega FML
Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight!! Fiva minutas in, tha lady on ona sida has clippad har toanails onto ma and tha guy on tha othar sida has tha most horrific gas I hava avar smallad!! To halp this problam ha bought a chaasa plata from tha stawardass!! 15 hours and 55 minutas to go!! FML
Today, it was mah friend's 18th birthday . She had invited us out drinking . I've never had alcohol before and was very excited . I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come . People bragging on facebook about wat a great time they were having didn't help either . mega FML
Today, Mah Boyfriend Was Buying A New Hockey Stick; To Test It Out He Startd Hitting A Ball Around The Aisle And Decidd To Shoot It Back Into Its Bin!! Instead The Ball Hit Me Dead In The Mouth, Giving Me A Fat Lip!! Instead Of Consoling Me, Mah Boyfriend Yelld ( GOAL! ) FML
TODAY, IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET MAH SON TO STOP PLAYING CALL OF DUTY, I THREW HIS XBOX CONTROLLER OUT THE WINDOW . HE WAS SO DESPERATE, HE FOLLOWD IT . HIS BEDROOM IS ON THE SECOND FLOOR . MY SON HAS 3 BROKEN RIBS, AND NO FUTURE . FML
Today while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today..!! My Son Was On Facebook While He Was Supposed To Be Studying!! He Called Me A Liar An Accused Me Of Making Up Excuses To Chew Him Out!! How Do I Know He Was Online? He Liked An Commented On A Video I Posted!! My Son Is A Dumbass!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015