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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28507) - you deserved it (2818)
On 02/17/2011 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Faluna (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (4210)
On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States
Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39692) - you deserved it (5056)
On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (2946)
On 02/16/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (1826)
On 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm - misc - by K (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22548) - you deserved it (1782)
On 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by Nearis (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (2273)
On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (10384)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11874) - you deserved it (16626)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7557) - you deserved it (45288)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21291) - you deserved it (1868)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (3086)
On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (8773)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (2205)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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