pygmyangel

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Offline (the 03/12/2014 at 9:42pm)

pygmyangel

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 357
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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pygmyangel's page activity

Visits<b>rylie_shea</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 7:32pm<b>peanutbrat</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:46pm<b>lannisters</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 3:20am

pygmyangel's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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pygmyangel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

by cazorp / 01/05/2012 at 6:43am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

by honeybadger123 / 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

by Fred / 05/26/2011 at 2:00am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

by unsuspcted / 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm / United States / Love