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Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you totally deserved it (15310)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by poop (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25704) - you totally deserved it (2577)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you totally deserved it (3289)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you totally deserved it (9112)
On 06/29/2009 at 6:59pm - misc - by peace_lost (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29566) - you totally deserved it (4006)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by sad_panda (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the fire department chief stopped me as I was walking home from school and asked me where the fire was. When I looked at him blankly, he said I had been waving my hands around like an idiot. I then had to explain that I had been dancing to a song on my ipod. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you totally deserved it (30504)
On 04/28/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Moe (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32083) - you totally deserved it (5177)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you totally deserved it (9624)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36194) - you totally deserved it (1406)
On 04/28/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you totally deserved it (2631)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by My_Cow_kiM (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83529) - you totally deserved it (3032)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45934) - you totally deserved it (3030)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9828) - you totally deserved it (37702)
On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you totally deserved it (4868)
On 04/28/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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