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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (123024) - you deserved it (8042)
On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92900) - you deserved it (13507)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276724) - you deserved it (23324)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13650) - you deserved it (109125)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (66371)
On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462040) - you deserved it (573954)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185213) - you deserved it (21616)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6710) - you deserved it (47000)
On 02/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by eejit (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39686) - you deserved it (5125)
On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (10454)
On 02/08/2009 at 8:55am - misc - by Kath (woman) - Poland (Gdansk)
Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6312) - you deserved it (16148)
On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother in law was getting the mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3927) - you deserved it (6084)
On 01/22/2009 at 4:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4882) - you deserved it (21634)
On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (74781) - you deserved it (30755)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France
Monday 20 May 2013
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