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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5777) - you deserved it (61039)
On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (5633)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22339) - you deserved it (47308)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (14771)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (57665)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52657) - you deserved it (4452)
On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States
Today, my most difficult task at work was three hole punching a 500 page document so somebody could put it in a binder on their shelf and not read it. I have a $150,000 education. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39814) - you deserved it (5590)
On 05/26/2009 at 10:19pm - work - by bagpipesrkmywrld (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (62563)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52439) - you deserved it (6445)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12756) - you deserved it (37898)
On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12756) - you deserved it (37898)
On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49483) - you deserved it (2457)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16114) - you deserved it (49646)
On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (51818) - you deserved it (18216)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She reffered to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergancy bedrest by my doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54609) - you deserved it (3168)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by prego (woman) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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