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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (25887)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31215) - you deserved it (2970)
On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -
Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4745) - you deserved it (46347)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (7565)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9322) - you deserved it (22589)
On 01/22/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by RBHSWedgieGirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (2150)
On 01/18/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (2506)
On 01/12/2011 at 11:42pm - kids - by tatortot7707 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9612) - you deserved it (31692)
On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (9863)
On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (16751)
On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States
Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (2101)
On 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (7144)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (7144)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (49771)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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