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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14097) - you deserved it (2872)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (2878)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you deserved it (1542)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11632) - you deserved it (29659)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8015) - you deserved it (27153)
On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9594) - you deserved it (14096)
On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (5857)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (6692)
On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (8927)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (3028)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Mitcha857 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (12744)
On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (26576)
On 07/26/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by badbride - United States (California)
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28352) - you deserved it (13125)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (13582)
On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (39519)
On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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