purplestuff

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purplestuff

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 85932
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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purplestuff's page activity

Visits<b>GlennGuagmire</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 12:22pm<b>mike13245</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:52am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:18am<b>JohnnyKade</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:25pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 1:29pm<b>thesunandthemoon</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>RENOFETT</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 7:02pm<b>kmafia5</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:25pm<b>DyingRage</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 6:01pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:51pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:21pm<b>fuckme_328385</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:06am<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:19am<b>Rgduncan</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 7:51pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 4:05am<b>whitechick305</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:59pm

Fucked!<b>snipebp</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:30pm

purplestuff's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

purplestuff's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

by killer / 05/16/2009 at 8:21am / Latvia (Riga) / Animals

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

by dammitall / 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

by samantha246 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

by pizzagurl / 05/09/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

by Brian / 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

by PoopTart / 04/29/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

by BARF / 04/27/2009 at 9:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

by waltzy777 / 04/26/2009 at 4:12am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

by waltzy777 / 04/26/2009 at 4:12am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

by birdmagnet / 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

by bdutton / 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous