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purplestuff

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purplestuff

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 84326
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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purplestuff's page activity

Visits<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Bloink</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:22am<b>garage</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:39pm<b>suckmideck</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:38pm<b>siyafa</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:08am<b>AE101</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:20am<b>Kat29</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:29am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:20pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:46pm<b>cactusprick</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:10am<b>thesunandthemoon</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 2:51pm<b>LovelyStones</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:00am<b>meandconner</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:20pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:18pm<b>jonny_bravoo</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 12:14am

purplestuff's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

purplestuff's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (141806)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

#1973503
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14959) - you deserved it (53676)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36249) - you deserved it (4253)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

#1845735
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20349) - you deserved it (39110)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15958) - you deserved it (239791)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

#1639101
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18451) - you deserved it (58660)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:27pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

#1446877
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52994) - you deserved it (13708)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (121220)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10949) - you deserved it (76381)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10949) - you deserved it (76381)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

#1323390
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51132) - you deserved it (11314)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by birdmagnet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44794) - you deserved it (19655)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45945) - you deserved it (15230)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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