This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42558) - you deserved it (3750)
On 06/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by need2eat - United States (California)
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62064) - you deserved it (10163)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46814) - you deserved it (2267)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (42178)
On 06/10/2009 at 12:36am - animals - by FMLTIMESTWO (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15131) - you deserved it (32269)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:45am - love - by Ryan746 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11280) - you deserved it (65403)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105718) - you deserved it (4760)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8043) - you deserved it (59463)
On 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm - health - by thedogkisser (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55355) - you deserved it (3762)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (37285)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (54641)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16277) - you deserved it (39601)
On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (10446)
On 06/03/2009 at 11:16am - kids - by rollerSWEETness (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42660) - you deserved it (13609)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14823) - you deserved it (43387)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
