purplestuff

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purplestuff

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 85912
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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purplestuff's page activity

Visits<b>GlennGuagmire</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 12:22pm<b>mike13245</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:52am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:18am<b>JohnnyKade</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:25pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 1:29pm<b>thesunandthemoon</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>RENOFETT</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 7:02pm<b>kmafia5</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:25pm<b>DyingRage</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 6:01pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:51pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:21pm<b>fuckme_328385</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:06am<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:19am<b>Rgduncan</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 7:51pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 4:05am<b>whitechick305</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:59pm

Fucked!<b>snipebp</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:30pm

purplestuff's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

purplestuff's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

by dumblond / 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

by soembarrassed / 08/02/2009 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

by xobeachbabi428ox / 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

by robinhoood / 07/12/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

by failhusband / 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

by stupid / 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML

by allwaysbuggedinheaven / 07/07/2009 at 8:16am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

by superclutz / 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML

by icecreamer / 07/06/2009 at 12:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

by Soapy / 06/28/2009 at 3:23am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous