About purplestar1028 : Hello Everyone. I'm not gonna give out much info about myself but I dont care. I live on Earth with Zim, an irken invader. My name is GIR. I wear a dog suit as a disguise to my robot form(oops I wasn't supposed to tell you that hehehe). But anyways, FML because I have to deal with stupid Dib boy.
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purplestar1028's favorite FMLs
by Doggotmytongue / 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML
by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace / 01/31/2013 at 6:34am / United States (California) / Transportation
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
by What? / 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Australia / Animals
by frustrated / 01/22/2013 at 2:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation
- Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell… Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter,… Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2…