About purplestar1028 : Hello Everyone. I'm not gonna give out much info about myself but I dont care. I live on Earth with Zim, an irken invader. My name is GIR. I wear a dog suit as a disguise to my robot form(oops I wasn't supposed to tell you that hehehe). But anyways, FML because I have to deal with stupid Dib boy.
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purplestar1028's favorite FMLs
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML
by cupcakechick / 06/04/2013 at 4:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by H1dd3n / 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
by Soundofaboner / 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm / United States / Intimacy
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML
by MickyIsEVIL / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / Japan (Aichi) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML
by esbemebe1113 / 03/27/2013 at 5:12pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML
by Soph / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
by Faaccckkk / 03/25/2013 at 10:48am / United States / Love
- Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software… Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks… Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large…
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how…