About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.
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purplemnm's favorite FMLs
Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML
by fannylover / 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert. I'd asked this girl I'm interested in to come with me, and she insisted that she had to bring her two year old son with us. I'd told her it was no problem. Ten minutes into it, she said we needed to leave because it was too loud for him. FML
by tyler / 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm / United States / Love
by gp28 / 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm / United States / Love
by DLS / 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML
by prisonbitch / 02/18/2010 at 12:41pm / United States / Work
by goldie09 / 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Hayleey_079 / 02/18/2010 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health
by merse / 02/18/2010 at 8:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Oze / 02/18/2010 at 4:48am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
by Lizzielollipop816 / 02/18/2010 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML
by buttcrack / 02/18/2010 at 12:31am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML
by missunlucky / 02/17/2010 at 7:24pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2010 at 3:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML
by ceilingssuck / 02/17/2010 at 3:18pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by juwkgo / 02/17/2010 at 10:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…