purplemnm

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purplemnm

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9954
  • Number of comments : 837
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.

purplemnm's page activity

Visits<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 5:56pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 8:50am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:35am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 2:11pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:27am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 8:47pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 11:35am<b>StinkyAsh</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 9:24am<b>Srxjo</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 12:15am<b>josef_connolly</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Dilexar</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 3:36pm<b>lonelyincrowd</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 2:03pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 11:03am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 6:29pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:55pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:09am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 4:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 12:03pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 10:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:08pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:42pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Perplexed_Aris</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:59am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:39am<b>moneylessrc</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:42am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:31pm<b>tyler1916</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:02pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:07pm

purplemnm's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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purplemnm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

by richgirl / 02/24/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

by Username / 02/24/2010 at 10:06am / Intimacy

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

by kiki / 02/24/2010 at 12:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

by anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 12:05am / United States (Montana) / Intimacy

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

by susan / 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

by sacked / 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

by Rafiki / 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

by Mika_Ookami / 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

by sasquatch21 / 02/21/2010 at 8:36am / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 7:56am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

by foutu / 02/21/2010 at 6:52am / Intimacy

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

by Piano999 / 02/21/2010 at 2:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

by Braced / 02/21/2010 at 12:14am / United States (West Virginia) / Health

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

by Will / 02/21/2010 at 12:05am / Health

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

by AwwChute / 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous